Today is a bad day; Today I am in pain.

Someone asked me how I feel today; through the mask. I wondered if she genuinely wanted to know, she said she did and I replied with truth:

Today is a bad day; I am in pain.

A mere five years ago, things were different; so different, my new reality would have never been contemplated or believed to be nothing more than a myth. Today I sit with my hand over my jaw as if my hand has some healing powers that will suck the pain from my jaw. My teeth slowly crumble from the constantly clinching and infection my body goes in and out of. Today I feel the fever coming, and I'm getting weaker; all the way around, emotionally physically, in every sense; another infection is coming, I can smell infections before I feel them now; my body honed, tuned into the coming battle. Will this be the infection that takes my fire, not my life, my fire to fight, or will my fighting be limited to survival alone.

My wick is getting shorter; my hand twitches wanting to knock shit over; mere SCREAMING is becoming not enough. My life has been a constant acknowledgement of witnessing society's depravity, family, friends, and loved ones who sell out others. At what point do you say, "Today, I've had enough, and the idea of the hermit seems like a safer bet than the mines of life."

My ears are filling with fluid, my eyes feel the heat rise, the energy sucked from my body, another bladder infection on the horizon and the loneliness of pain waiting patiently to accept me once again, to break me, and it's getting closer. But, not allowing my fall; in doing so would shatter the net of safety I hear in my home as I listen to my children laugh; I sit up high continue to work, never releasing what I am feeling to my children; only acknowledging with a high five, "You Son Are Fucking Delight My Child; Bitchen," as my body slumps as he walks by..So I go on, as all parents do.

To rise today is more challenging than it was yesterday, and as I watch the casually verbal battles of laughter toward the trans craze, the furious rage increases rising with the pain I know is coming. My face is starting to glow with fever, and breathing will become hard; my mind foggy as the infection increases and its days like today that I would like nothing more than to grab all the people making light, jokes, puns at the expense of others and SCREAM at the top of my lungs to STOP! Please, stop. Stop the evildoers who are making money on transing kids, the people like Governor Gregg Abbott, Dr Curtis Crane, the people who know what they are doing; strip them of every dignity and cast your humous light on the jokes that matter; taking down what we are doing to children, illuminate the evil, fill the room with the light of love, understanding of uncommon and sit with it for a bit; sit with it for our children. Mine, yours, ours, because the future for these children, I feel today, and I don't want anyone to feel the pain that I endure throughout my life. My laughter, my fearce fire, is an internal flame that I want to light in others to give people what they need to STOP the evil people of society casting this pain on children for mere profit, for year over year growth.

Today is a bad day; I am in pain.

This is the truth to your question,

SCREAMING as I can today; to STOP childhood medical transitioning.

Scott